


A deal is a deal

by vrisk8serket



Category: Gravity Falls, Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: Blame Me, Crack, F/M, Oh god, Other, it's just all crack, please don't take seriously, this is based off of something that happened at a con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-08-12 01:42:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7915567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vrisk8serket/pseuds/vrisk8serket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is crack based on a shipping game that happened between me (Bill) and a harley quinn at camp anime. This was a hilarious time so I promised to write it. Read at your own risk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the fateful day

A blonde girl sat crying in the corner of her room, bruises covering her seemingly frail form. Her head snaps up and she whimpers at the slight noise that she hears. "Mr. J, if that's you, I'm really really sorry for messing up ya plan." The said thing that was the cause of the noise reveals himself, and oddly enough gets a sigh of relief in response to his appearance. "Oh, it's just a weirdo blondie, get the fuck outta here before mr. J sees ya." The blonde rests her head on the wall again before doing a double take at the person in front of her. The guy seems to have literally appeared out of no where, but that wasn't the creepiest part at all. He had bright blonde hair, a yellow vest decked out in, bricks?, to match the hair, and an eyepatch in the shape of a triangle. The weird dude started laughing and she caught sight of fangs that could easily shred skin. "WHY HELLO, I HEARD A CALL FOR HELP AND JUST DECIDED TO DROP IN. GOT ANY PROBLEMS THAT NEED SOLVING?" She laughs just as insanely as he had done previously and stands up. "Well unless you happen to be able to brutally murder my puddin', then I don't think so sir illuminati" The mans visible eye lights up with glee (and possibly fire) as he hears this. "Can do sister, just shake my hand and we've got a deal." "hmmmm, you're a demon aren't you." His surprised look confirms her question and she continues with an evil smirk. "I've got a few conditions for ya." He sighs and lowers his hand. "Just call me Bill, now what are this conditions." "You protect me as long as I'm alive, and in return you get all of me." She says with quite the eyebrow wiggle. "Fine. I agree, but don't think you're the one in charge of this deal, I hold all the power." She grabs his limp hand and shakes it enthusiastically. "Thanks Mr. B!" Holy shit this chick is bipolar.


	2. How to get out of a deal you made: google search by Bill Cipher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I recently remembered this fic due to me meeting the harley quinn cosplayer who inspired it again. ( I was a bill. That con was lit)  
> CHAPTER STILL BEING WRITTEN

The deal had been in effect for a little over a week and Bill was already immensely regretting his decision. The psycho blonde, Harley, was the very definition of yandere. Usually he wouldn't mind, but she kept interrupting his deals and killing his clients. He would've killed them anyway, but only after he got something out of it! Whenever he tried to calm her down she just got more excited and absolutely nothing scared her. He unfortunately could not harm her because their contract stated he had to protect her, how the fuck did he not think of this possibility. He teleports everywhere now to shake her for just a bit, but the chick must have spies everywhere (she does, he checked at one point) because she always knows how to find him. To make it worse, she really did seem head over heels for him and got really fucking bad when he ignored her or insisted they weren't dating. A loud bang resonates through the warehouse where he has cornered a kid trying to commit suicide. Speak of the devil and her fucking pigtails will appear. "Heya B, I heard you found this nice warehouse and was just thinking what an absolutely perfect place this would be to raise Bud and Lou!" With an exasperated sigh you wouldn't think could come from a sentient triangle in a human body he pushes the kid off the roof giving up on the prospect of a deal. With Harley around, that death would be better than what she inflicted. "I think I've told you this at least 3 times, I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING RAISE HYENAS WITH YOU!" and of course, the bimbo isn't fazed. You know a chick is crazy when you yell at her in english, russian, gaelic, and a demonic language you invented simultaneously and she doesn't bat an eyelash. Why the fuck did he make this deal. Is he insane? Well, yeah, but not this insane. At least she hadn't brought up getting married. Today. It was a rarity that she would go this long without proposing, so he supposes that's another reason she's here.

**Author's Note:**

> wow, this is terrible. I love it and hate it so much.


End file.
